Whenever people learn that I live in a remote mountain village, one question almost always follows: “What if you are close to death and there are no medical facilities nearby?” It is a fair question, and one that has made me reflect deeply on life, death, and what it means to live well.
There was a time when the thought of death frightened me. Not all the time, but often enough. The thought would appear unexpectedly while lying awake at night after being woken up by some unexpected loud noise of a dumper passing by or an owl landing on the roof. The thought would come after hearing of someone’s passing, or even while reading about illness and old age. The mind would ask questions that had no easy answers. What happens when this life ends? Will everything simply disappear? Will I ever see the people I love again?
I began asking these questions during the covid pandemic, when I lost several close friends. Since then, the same thoughts return whenever I hear of another death. Each loss is a reminder that none of us can escape this end of journey.
For years I searched for answers. Ironically, it wasn’t answers that brought me peace. It was the acceptance that some questions cannot be answered with certainty. Instead of trying to conquer death (or rather questions about death) with logic, I am slowly learning to live alongside the mystery of it.
Living in the mountains has changed the way I think about life. Here, I have the time to read what people from different ages and cultures have written about death. I explore religious texts, philosophy, literature, and science. I speak with learned scholars, wandering monks, and the villagers whose wisdom comes not from books but from life itself. Everyone has something to share. Running a homestay has brought different people through my doors, each carrying their own experiences, beliefs, and stories. Every conversation around the topics of death feels like someone handing me another small piece of a vast jigsaw puzzle.
Nature also teaches. Watching the cycle of plants and trees, year after year, I began to realise that it accepts every season with remarkable grace. Only human beings seem to spend their lives wishing that things would remain exactly as they are. The Buddha called this impermanence. Everything that comes into being eventually passes away. Happiness fades. Sorrow fades. Youth fades. Health changes. Relationships change. Even the mountains outside my window are slowly being shaped by wind and rain. When I first encountered this teaching, it sounded rather bleak. Today, I find it strangely comforting. Nothing lasts forever. Even the brightest of stars turn to black holes.
Looking back, I realise that I was never truly afraid of death itself. What unsettles me is the thought of leaving behind responsibilities unfinished and placing an unexpected burden on the people I love. It is not death that troubles me most, but the possibility of causing hardship to my family through my absence.
Paradoxically, accepting mortality has made me more practical rather than more fearful. I have begun sharing important information with my family, organising my affairs, and preparing a will – not because I expect death to arrive soon, but because I would rather leave clarity than confusion for those I care about. I frequentlyrecommend my friends also to do the same.
I am also trying to look after my health with greater purpose. I have almost quit alcohol (once in a month or so, I do have a drink or two). One major challenge before me is to lose weight and reduce the risk of lifestyle-related diseases later in life. I do not want an avoidable illness or an untimely death to become a burden on the people I love. For the same reason, I drive far more carefully now. Reflecting on death has made me value life more, and also to take greater responsibility for the life I have been given.
These days, when I walk through the orchard, I notice small things I once ignored. An overripe plum feeding birds before returning to the earth. A fallen apple slowly becoming part of the soil that will nourish next year’s blossoms. An old tree that no longer bears fruit, yet shelters woodpeckers, insects and moss. Nothing in nature is wasted. Everything becomes something else. We are no different. Everyone is bound to die and with that the cycle with continue. One day I too will become part of this landscape that has given me so much joy. Perhaps my body will return to the same earth that has nourished these apple trees. The seasons will continue. Spring will arrive without asking whether I am here to witness it. Birds will still sing at dawn. Clouds will still drift across the Himalayan peaks.
The Bhagavad Gita gave me a way of looking at life. Krishna tells Arjuna that just as a person discards worn-out clothes and puts on new ones, the Self leaves behind an old body and takes on another. Whether one believes this literally or sees it as a beautiful metaphor, it reminds us that perhaps we are more than this ageing body.
On the same lines of thought, the ancient scripture Katho-Upanishad also provides insight. A young boy named Nachiketa stands before Yama, the Lord of Death. Yama offers him wealth, long life, power and every earthly pleasure imaginable. Nachiketa refuses them all. He asks only one question: What becomes of us after death? I have always admired that question, not because it seeks certainty, but because it seeks truth. Yama eventually teaches him that the Self is not born, nor does it die. Bodies come and go, but the essence of who we are is beyond birth and death. Whether one interprets this spiritually or philosophically, it changes the conversation. Death is no longer an ending to be feared but a mystery to be approached with humility.
The greatest gift that accepting the inevitability of death has given me is that I think about living more. Every moment spend with my family and friends is precious. The morning cup of tea tastes better. Conversations have substance and I try to spend time with people who matter and discussing things that have some meaning for me. A flowering plum tree seems worthy of stopping for. The first snowfall feels like a gift rather than just another winter. Even silence has become a friend. When we remember that our days are finite, ordinary moments become extraordinary. If we were promised endless tomorrows, we would postpone everything that truly matters. Understanding death teaches us how to live.
There is something deeply reassuring about that thought. Life was never mine to possess; it was only mine to experience. What a privilege it has been. I am grateful for every day I am given. As I journey through life, I try to live by dharma, pursue artha and kama with moderation, and keep my eyes gently fixed on moksha – the freedom that hopefully lies beyond them all.
There is much more I could write on this subject. But perhaps some questions are meant to be lived rather than answered, and some thoughts are better shared beneath an old tree than on a page.
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