Letting Go

The trees in an orchard do not hold on to their fruit forever. When the apple ripens it falls. The tree does not cry. It does not chase the fruit once it has dropped to the earth. It stands still and gathers its strength for the next season. This is the way of life.

Letting go of the past is one of the hardest tasks for any human being. Our minds wander back to old talks and sharp words, especially when there is free time and silence. Many people try to escape by keeping busy. I did the same. But life here in the hills gave me long hours of quiet. The mind, left free, would drift to old scenes and old hurts.

One day I began to see how this was harming me. The first step was to understand that the past is already gone. No thought can pull it back. What matters is the present and the work that shapes the days ahead.

There were moments when someone had spoken ill of me. I longed to confront them, to defend my name. As I reached for a higher state of mind, the picture changed. I forgave the person. There was no use brooding over words already spoken. Yet, as a human with self-respect, I let him know that his remarks had hurt me. It was not anger. It was a simple, clear feedback, and then I moved on.

One of the companies I once worked with let me go without giving any clear reason. To this day I still do not know why. Perhaps it was personal, perhaps my work did not meet their expectations. Whatever the cause, I chose to forgive them. I gave the top management, whether involved or not, the benefit of the doubt and allowed the matter to pass. I remain on friendly terms with most of them even now.

I am at peace with myself. Government policies, poor infrastructure, unnecessary jealousy and even moments of discrimination, shoddy work by contractors that I had to redo at considerable cost, fruit trees first damaged by harsh weather and later raided by monkeys, the shortage of water in the dry months – many things have tried their best to disturb me. Yet I now view these challenges with distance and keep them apart from my inner calm. Overthinking and living in the past bring far more harm than good.

There was a time when I spent a large sum on a music system that I rarely use nowadays. From simple things like cooking pots to expensive electronics, I made choices that felt right at the moment. They brought me joy then, and some still do now. Looking back, I could see them as mistakes. I could have saved the money. But I no longer dwell on that. I am grateful for the happiness they gave me, for the small pleasures they added to life. Just as with people, these things came into my life for a reason. If they no longer serve me as I once hoped, there is no harm done. I simply let the thought pass and move on.

Self-loathing is a slow poison. It clouds thought and drains the present of its light. We cannot change an old act, rewrite a conversation, undo a loss, or turn a decision inside out. We can only learn, and fine-tune the choices of tomorrow.

The orchard shows this truth in many ways. After a heavy storm, broken branches lie scattered on the ground. I gather them, not with sorrow but with the knowledge that pruning clears the way for new growth. When a tree stops bearing fruit, we cut it back and wait for fresh shoots. The cycle continues. The tree does not mourn its old branches.

I have spent mornings watching the frost melt from the grass. At first the ground seems locked and lifeless. Then the sun rises, the ice softens, and the soil drinks the water. Nothing lasts. Not even the hard things you fear will stay forever.

There is heavy construction nearby these days. Earth-moving machines growl through the mornings, power tools shriek late into the night, and dumpers rattle in at dawn with stones and sand. At first the noise unsettled me. Even in the rare moments of silence, I would recall the sounds of the day before and feel the same tension return. That too was living in the past. Now I let it pass. I no longer carry yesterday’s noise in my mind. I choose to stay calm and content within myself, knowing that every disturbance is temporary. The work will finish, the dust will settle, and quiet will return in its own time. My peace does not depend on the noise ending. It is already here, steady and untouched.

Sometimes I walk through the orchard and see last year’s leaves turning to soil under my feet. They were once bright and full of life. Now they feed the roots of new saplings. Our past mistakes and pains can serve the same purpose if we let them settle and nourish the present instead of clutching them in our hands.

Do not keep turning the same patch of earth in the orchard. Digging it over and over only dries it out. Leave yesterday’s ground to rest. Today’s care is enough. Water the young sapling that stands before you. Pull the weeds you can see now. Live in the present.

Just, let the past go !

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